Have you ever noticed just how insincere people seem these days? How many times have you had your conversation interrupted by someone who wanted to talk about themselves? How many times have you been pouring your heart out to someone only to have them check their e-mail or their text messages right in the middle of your meltdown? I have a friend that I see rather frequently yet when I talk to them face to face it's almost as if I'm not even in the room. Now if I CALL them then we may talk for an hour. Why is it that face-to-face conversation has lost its appeal to a phone? it seems that our society has gotten a little off course in this upcoming generation, yes even my generation. We are a group of young people who must be careful not to get ourselves so wrapped up in our technologies that we bypass PEOPLE that are right in front of us.
At our church we use the slogan "Where Relationships Matter" and I'm glad that's our motto because we all need to be reminded that our relationships and friendships DO REALLY MATTER. Some things can't be resolved with a text or e-mail. Sometimes it takes us sitting down with someone and listening. We want to have our relationships at the same level as we "want" everything else in our fast-food society...with as little as work as possible. Being sincere seems to be a lost art these days and i pray that our society catches ourselves in this area before we are all living like hermits on a mountain...never going out...ordering everything via the Internet, texting our friends, twittering, and yet ignoring the all important face-to-face interaction that is so important in growing our relationships.
I write this today because I catch me doing these exact things. It's so easy for me to get caught up in my activities, my life that I forget that as a friend and as a pastor that my role is all to BUILD and GROW relationships. I value relationships not because I'm paid to do so as a pastor and people expect it but because I care about people. Unfortunately sometimes it may not seem that way so if there' anyone out there that I've cut short or passed over I'm sorry.
As far as your friend goes you may want to consider that everyone is different.
ReplyDeleteSome people may find phone conversations easier than face to face. It may have nothing to do with the phone. Of course I'm not saying that you deserve to be ignored simply because someone had a different personality, I think you should always consider the individual involved before you jump to conclusions.
Always ask these questions:
1) Was the person already distracted with other issues?
2) Did I communicate my need to "pour out my heart" to them?
3) Am I making this personal...about me or them?
Good blog. I just thought I could offer some different insight.
Thanks for your comment! Clearly personalities will differ from person-to-person and how people deal with people will vary based upon that. My point is sometimes we have to listen "on purpose"...that's clearly easier or harder for some than it is others. My heads-up to the blogosphere was to simply take time with people and slow down...and hey, if they just talk TOO much then just TELL them! Some people just can't ever shut up...maybe that's me! OUCH!
ReplyDeleteIf you notice in the last paragraph I am exposing my own short-comings as a relationship builder. Thanks to my friend's consistenly poor listening skills it has helped me see my own failures in this area. Your #3 comment reminds me that relationships ARE personal and yes you make it personal everytime you interact with them...it IS about me and it IS about them. Relationships require both giving and receiving from both people.
Thanks again for your input and for reading the blog!